THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE LOVE! THIS WAS THE BEST WEDDING ANY OF US HAVE EVER BEEN TO!
By popular demand, a copy of our wedding vows:
Mandy,
First things first. As many of you know, Mandy has actually, to this day never said “yes” to marrying me. So Mandy, Will you marry me?
Ok, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m sure everyone here today is expecting me to talk about how we complete each other and how empty I am without you. That sounds lovely, but our reality is a little different. We don’t complete each other – we compliment each other. And that, is a much more powerful and meaningful relationship. To say we complete each other would imply that in some way we were not whole people. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
One of the reasons I love you as much as I do is because you are in fact an incredibly capable, independent and grounded person. You are whole, and I love all of you. I am in awe of your abilities as an educator and a leader. The way you bring cheer and love to all around you is part of what makes you so extraordinary. The gentle way you remind me that my Batman costume isn’t considered professional attire is a testament to your patience and a good indicator of how much you must actually love me. Although, the way you claim the bed by laying diagonally across it rolled like a burrito in all the sheets and blankets makes me wonder sometimes.
What you bring to my life is so much more than I can fully express here today. I love the way you tell people that you want to die first, so you can haunt me. I appreciate that fact that you never stop me from telling the only two or 3 awful jokes I know. I cherish your encouragement, kindness and compassion. I can go on for hours using superlatives like magnanimous, beautiful and stupendous to describe you, and give even more reasons why I love you, but I think the crowd is getting a little hungry. I will say though, that without question, you are the light of my life. There is no doubt in my mind that Hashem declared 40 days before I was born that you were to be my Beshert.
These are wedding vows after all, and it is my duty to make promises. I promise to revere you always and appreciate everything you bring to my life; our life. I will honor you, respect you and encourage you. I will cherish the fact that we are best friends and partners in life. I will cook you as much eggplant as you’d like, but we may have to come to a compromise about broccoli. I will strive every day to be the best husband and companion that I can be, and I vow to be the man you deserve.
If you’ve been listening carefully, you’ll notice I have not promised to love you. Promises are chores, tasks, duties we must abide by. To love you brings freedom to my heart and euphoria to my soul. Loving you is never a burden, it is a joy that I can now experience for the rest of my life. My love for you is pure, unconditional and unending. No matter what the future brings, for all of my days I will love you as my equal, and most importantly, my wife.
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Dustin,
It was 1,386 days ago that you rose immediately to the very top row of a quite meticulously organized spreadsheet on my computer of all of your J-date competitors. Looking back, it really was no competition at all. It is clear that we were meant to be together.
Our first date was truly magical. I remember stepping off the train and seeing you. We held hands and walked through the beautiful green houses at Planting Fields Arboretum. I knew you were perfect for me when you presented me with none other than a bacon mint as we rested on a bench. I will never forget how neither one of us wanted it to end. It was clear that what was meant to be a lunch and garden date was not enough. Soon we ended up sitting together at the beach, strolling around Ikea, getting coffee at Starbucks, and hanging out in your car until I had to catch the last possible train back to Manhattan. We both agreed that we couldn’t wait to see each other again, so the very next day you hopped on a train and had your official welcome to my home in Harlem. Over the next few months, we became very accustomed to Penn Station and the Long Island Rail Road as we continued our “long distance” relationship. I am so grateful I had such a perfect companion to explore New York with over those two years.
Dustin,
When I envision our future, I hope that we will always strive to learn and grow together. I am so excited to finally be living in a great city where we can settle down and start a new chapter as a married couple. I love that you are always so selfless. From always asking what I would like for dinner (and almost always doing an incredible job cooking it!) to nightly rubbings, you are constantly looking out for me and doing whatever you can to know that I am happy. I realize I don’t always show it the way that you do, but I hope that you know that I do and always will continue to find my own ways to do the same for you. I also promise to always be willing to listen and open to change. And even while I don’t always show you my appreciation, I love that you are truly a beautiful blend of trusting, nostalgic, caring, and kind. While these are qualities I have learned to see in you more and more over the past several years, I also hope to always remember those excited feelings from our first date and infuse a bit of those into each day we spend together.
I am honored and humbled to be standing here with you today in the presence of so many people that we love and care for. I have loved you for 1,386 days. I am looking forward to a lifetime more.
